I wanna talk about your BIGGEST sex organ...
Often when we think about sexual touch, our minds beeline straight for the genitals.
We think about hand jobs and finger-fucking, rubbing clits and juggling balls, maybe even tickling taints or sticking a sweet little lubed up finger inside of a juicy butthole.
But, my friends, when we limit our sexual touch to just our naughty bits (duh, I say that felicitously - our genitals are NOT naughty.... unless you want them to be 😉), we are missing out on a whole 'nother range of pleasurable feels!
In fact, our BIGGEST sexual organ is actually our skin!
That's right! If all of your sexy touch is just focused on the penis, vulva, anus, and maybe even the bresticles, you are missing out on over TWENTY TWO SQUARE FEET (for the average adult human) of potential for sexy feels.
And while different areas of skin have differing levels of sensitivity to touch (for example, we know that the clitoris has the most concentrated area of nerve endings, right? with about EIGHT THOUSAND nerve endings in and throughout the small wishbone shaped organ? don't worry friends, I'm definitely not saying to neglect this pleasure-centered magical wonder), that doesn't mean there aren't specific strategies and tactics for making touch feel pleasurable on every inch of your body.
In fact, for many of us, touch is not only pleasurable, but ESSENTIAL for sexual pleasure, intimacy, and closeness and connection with a lover.
Physical touch - whether sexual in nature or not - has a dramatic effect on the way we subconsciously feel about someone, and elicits both psychological and physiological reactions in our bodies. For example, touching can increase feelings of trust between two people, increases feelings of interest or liking, and can demonstrate (even if we're not doing it intentionally!) feelings of love, gratitude, and sympathy.
Further, human touch can reduce feelings of stress, and increase feelings of comfort - both which make for sexual contexts that increase feelings of desire and pleasure.
So how can we use this info to better our love and sex lives???
Recognize that feelings of pleasure - be it erotic, sensual, or completely platonic - as well as feelings of sexual fulfillment and satisfaction can all result from human touch that doesn't include the genitals. We often find ourselves prioritizing sexual behaviors that focus on our genitalia, but we can get a lot of our sexual needs met in other ways... such as sensual or erotic massage, hand-holding, and snuggles.
Make an extra effort to touch your lover(s) more often. Heck, make an effort to touch anyone you care about more often! Whether it's during mundane conversation, times of silence, conflict (one of my more suggested tactics to diffuse conflict is with intentional touch!), or displays of affection, consider adding some - even if it's small - physical contact.