Posts tagged sex toys
my fave sex toys for masturbation

As Masturbation Month (also known as "MAY" to the common folk) winds down, I decided that one of the most appropriate ways to close it out was to give my beloved readers some personal recommendations on how to enhance their solo sex routines, that will hopefully tide them over for the 11 more boring months of the year.  

OK, I'm being highly facetious.  Every day is a great day to masturbate!  And there's plenty of other sexy reasons to enjoy no-May months.  I'm just going to be sad when it's no longer on the forefront of our mind.  Because YAY WHACKING OFF!

For those of you who might be wondering, May was first declared as "National Masturbation Month" by sex-positive (and wildly badass) sexual pleasure retailer Good Vibrations in 1995.  The declaration was a result of then Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders being forced to resign after advocating that masturbation be taught a component of healthy sexuality.  

From a solely public health perspective (which was, you know - her job), masturbation provides multiple health benefits, without the vast majority of negative health risks associated with partnered sex (STI transmission and unintended pregnancy, just to name a couple). 

So Good Vibrations - and lots of other rational, sex-positive folks - decided that one way to reduce the shame and stigma associated with masturbation - which has demonstrated zero scientific evidence of being harmful - was to amplify the conversation around self pleasure.   

BE PROUD TO DIDDLE YOURSELF, MY FRIENDS! 

Using toys for masturbation is by no means a necessity for most able-bodied people!  Hands and fingers (and maybe even the occasional detachable shower head, particularly vibrate-y washing machine, or conveniently-shaped arm of your couch) can do really incredible things to our genitals.  And shit, some of us have even learned how to breathe our way to orgasm!

But, toys can always provide a little variety.  An option to try something new or different.  Explore NEW ways to get yourself off that you might not have tried before.  And hey!  Those new ways might blow your previous ways out of the water. 

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beginner's guide: lube

I'm not shy about it - I am a lube fanatic.  It makes me so sad to think that the majority of sexually active (and note, by sexually active I do NOT mean only people that are having penis-in-vagina sex, because sex is WAY more than that) folks have never purchased or even picked up a bottle of this magical substance.  

Sex lube (otherwise known as "personal lubricant" - gosh people, get a fucking grip) is - are you ready for this - THE single easiest way to enhance your sex life.  (partnered OR solo)  Period.  

One of the most significant reasons why sex lube is magical is that it simultaneously enhances sexual pleasure AND increases sexual safety.  That's right, people, we aren't talking about choosing BETWEEN safety and satisfaction, like most of the sex-negative messages you've probably heard over the course of your life.  We are doing BOTH, at the same damn time.  Can I get an AMEN?!

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what lesbians can teach straight people about sex

I was recently chatting with a group of girlfriends, when one of them said something that really got my gears turning.  I don't even remember what exactly it was we were discussing, but amid the conversation she mentioned that her and her girlfriend, "have sex every day" and continued on.  The other girls continued to talk, but I had checked out of their conversation and checked in to my own thoughts (a little secret about me, my brain can only handle small chunks of information, so once it started down a path of contemplation, it was impossible to continue to absorb anything else).  

Not because of the every day frequency of their sex.

But because she called what they did "SEX"

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Facebook Live Q&A RECAP

You guys!  I can't tell you how AMAZING it felt to be able to hang with you, live and in full effect, via Facebook Live this past weekend.  Me and my homefry Skipper got to answer some of your sex and relationship q's, giggle way too much, and talk a little more in depth about tips and strategies that can improve our love and sex lives. 

If you didn't get to join, and haven't caught it on SL&ATF's Facebook Page yet, it's available to watch below!  Here are the questions we were able to tackle:

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#askthesexpert: all about buttplugs

Ah!  Great question!

There's a lot of "taboo" surrounding inserting something into the anus for pleasure.  And I get it - that body part is often thought of as dirty, germ-y and smelly.

But alas!  That area of the body is ALSO home to lots and lots of nerve endings that are connected to our genitals - areas that are associated with pleasure!  Quoting one of my favorite sex books, "The Guide to Getting it On" by Paul Joannides:

"You'll be hard-pressed to find a part of the body that has more nerve endings than the anus.  Some women have their strongest orgasms when anal stimulation is part of the mix.  And some men find a finger on the prostate to be a welcome sensation."
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