Posts tagged pleasure
I wanna talk about your BIGGEST sex organ...

Often when we think about sexual touch, our minds beeline straight for the genitals.

We think about hand jobs and finger-fucking, rubbing clits and juggling balls, maybe even tickling taints or sticking a sweet little lubed up finger inside of a juicy butthole.  

But, my friends, when we limit our sexual touch to just our naughty bits (duh, I say that felicitously - our genitals are NOT naughty.... unless you want them to be 😉), we are missing out on a whole 'nother range of pleasurable feels!

In fact, our BIGGEST sexual organ is actually our skin!  

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Poems Can Blossom Truth Within Our Hearts

Good morning, good morning.

Outside, it’s traffic and crickets. I’m waiting to hear whether the owl will be back this morning - she was here on Friday, and instead of writing a post I got distracted by her. 

Well, by her and some old morning writes. I went looking for what I was saying here--to myself, to you--five years ago, or seven. That’s one thing about regular journaling--getting to look back, see what you were saying before, what you felt like before, what you’re struggling with that’s the same  and what is new — you get to see how far you’ve come. 

In my case, I got to look back on a relationship that felt unfixable at the time I was writing, one that felt like kudzu or like I was in the ocean at a rising tide stuck in seaweed. I spent so many years trying to communicate with someone who literally could not understand the things I was saying — and, let’s be honest, in the converse, I also couldn’t, it seems, understand the things he was saying. I could never quite understand what he wanted. And I kept trying, kept getting smaller, tightening myself up until I was knotted into a ball at the bottom of a bookbag, just a sticky thing with dust and hair and old gum wrappers stuck all over me. 

And then I got the idea that maybe , that maybe, I didn’t have to stay there. Maybe my job wasn’t to stay in this relationship until the end of my (or his) life. Maybe I didn’t have to walk a hundred miles on my knees, repenting. I only had to let the soft animal of my body love what it loved. And then poetry started to sneak in to the sides and corners and crevices of my skin, my psyche, touched the parched places inside me, the places that told me I had to stay, I had to keep working, I had to keep trying to be the right thing for this person. 

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manifesting pleasure in 2018

I (kind of shamefully) remember last year being the first time I realized that most New Year's Resolutions were largely absent of any sex or relationship goals.

When we think of the stereotypical New Year's Resolutions - weight loss, saving money, exercising more, maybe getting out of debt or resolving to focus more on one's health - we don't tend to immediately think of, "having more orgasms" or "prioritizing my romantic relationship" as worthwhile resolutions.

Hopefully, I'm going to change that.

And I get it, some people aren't into the whole "resolution thing" anyways... and I totes understand.  After all, research shows (btw, this admittedly isn't the gold-standard, double-blind, latitudinal, validated and generalizable type of studies I typically rely on, but it's something!) that only about 12 or so % of resolutions are kept throughout the year.  Not super promising!  Does that mean resolutions are a waste of time? 

I still don't think so.

Regardless of the "data," boiled down, resolutions create a sense of hopefulness!  They give us an idea of what in our world can change in order to increase our quality of life.  I'm down with that!  So even if you're pessimistic about resolutions, or haven't had much success keeping them in the past, I'm going to encourage you to give it another go.

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my fave sex toys for masturbation

As Masturbation Month (also known as "MAY" to the common folk) winds down, I decided that one of the most appropriate ways to close it out was to give my beloved readers some personal recommendations on how to enhance their solo sex routines, that will hopefully tide them over for the 11 more boring months of the year.  

OK, I'm being highly facetious.  Every day is a great day to masturbate!  And there's plenty of other sexy reasons to enjoy no-May months.  I'm just going to be sad when it's no longer on the forefront of our mind.  Because YAY WHACKING OFF!

For those of you who might be wondering, May was first declared as "National Masturbation Month" by sex-positive (and wildly badass) sexual pleasure retailer Good Vibrations in 1995.  The declaration was a result of then Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders being forced to resign after advocating that masturbation be taught a component of healthy sexuality.  

From a solely public health perspective (which was, you know - her job), masturbation provides multiple health benefits, without the vast majority of negative health risks associated with partnered sex (STI transmission and unintended pregnancy, just to name a couple). 

So Good Vibrations - and lots of other rational, sex-positive folks - decided that one way to reduce the shame and stigma associated with masturbation - which has demonstrated zero scientific evidence of being harmful - was to amplify the conversation around self pleasure.   

BE PROUD TO DIDDLE YOURSELF, MY FRIENDS! 

Using toys for masturbation is by no means a necessity for most able-bodied people!  Hands and fingers (and maybe even the occasional detachable shower head, particularly vibrate-y washing machine, or conveniently-shaped arm of your couch) can do really incredible things to our genitals.  And shit, some of us have even learned how to breathe our way to orgasm!

But, toys can always provide a little variety.  An option to try something new or different.  Explore NEW ways to get yourself off that you might not have tried before.  And hey!  Those new ways might blow your previous ways out of the water. 

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how better sex can improve your quality of life

This infamous and wise Marvin Gaye one said (slash crooned):

"And when I get that feeling, I want sexual healing.
Sexual healing, aw baby!  Makes me feel so fine, helps to relieve my mind.
Sexual healing baby, is good. for. me.  Sexual healing is something that's good for me."

And y'all, he was SPOT on!

There are so many documented, scientifically-researched and proven ways that having a rich, active, truly fulfilling sex life can positively impact physical, mental, emotional and social wellbeing.  Scroll through this handy dandy infographic for a peek at just SOME of the benefits of a satisfying sex life!

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