Posts tagged passion
Poems Can Blossom Truth Within Our Hearts

Good morning, good morning.

Outside, it’s traffic and crickets. I’m waiting to hear whether the owl will be back this morning - she was here on Friday, and instead of writing a post I got distracted by her. 

Well, by her and some old morning writes. I went looking for what I was saying here--to myself, to you--five years ago, or seven. That’s one thing about regular journaling--getting to look back, see what you were saying before, what you felt like before, what you’re struggling with that’s the same  and what is new — you get to see how far you’ve come. 

In my case, I got to look back on a relationship that felt unfixable at the time I was writing, one that felt like kudzu or like I was in the ocean at a rising tide stuck in seaweed. I spent so many years trying to communicate with someone who literally could not understand the things I was saying — and, let’s be honest, in the converse, I also couldn’t, it seems, understand the things he was saying. I could never quite understand what he wanted. And I kept trying, kept getting smaller, tightening myself up until I was knotted into a ball at the bottom of a bookbag, just a sticky thing with dust and hair and old gum wrappers stuck all over me. 

And then I got the idea that maybe , that maybe, I didn’t have to stay there. Maybe my job wasn’t to stay in this relationship until the end of my (or his) life. Maybe I didn’t have to walk a hundred miles on my knees, repenting. I only had to let the soft animal of my body love what it loved. And then poetry started to sneak in to the sides and corners and crevices of my skin, my psyche, touched the parched places inside me, the places that told me I had to stay, I had to keep working, I had to keep trying to be the right thing for this person. 

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manifesting pleasure in 2018

I (kind of shamefully) remember last year being the first time I realized that most New Year's Resolutions were largely absent of any sex or relationship goals.

When we think of the stereotypical New Year's Resolutions - weight loss, saving money, exercising more, maybe getting out of debt or resolving to focus more on one's health - we don't tend to immediately think of, "having more orgasms" or "prioritizing my romantic relationship" as worthwhile resolutions.

Hopefully, I'm going to change that.

And I get it, some people aren't into the whole "resolution thing" anyways... and I totes understand.  After all, research shows (btw, this admittedly isn't the gold-standard, double-blind, latitudinal, validated and generalizable type of studies I typically rely on, but it's something!) that only about 12 or so % of resolutions are kept throughout the year.  Not super promising!  Does that mean resolutions are a waste of time? 

I still don't think so.

Regardless of the "data," boiled down, resolutions create a sense of hopefulness!  They give us an idea of what in our world can change in order to increase our quality of life.  I'm down with that!  So even if you're pessimistic about resolutions, or haven't had much success keeping them in the past, I'm going to encourage you to give it another go.

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sex dust: witchcraft for basic bitches

As the crunchy naturopath hippie that I am, just about all of the Moon Juice "Dust" collection has been strategically product placed in my sponsored Instagram feed and Facebook banner ads for several months.  To no surprise of yours, I'm sure, the Sex Dust immediately piqued my interest.  Naturally, as a sex blogger, I felt as though it was my moral duty to give a product called "Sex Dust" a whirl (also, it sounded like a fine way to write off the $40 for a measly 1.5 oz jar). 

Sex Dust claims that it will, "ignite and excite your sexual energy" as well as making, and I quote, "all the right places" a little extra sensitive.  Man, I can't wait til the day when everyone can just refer to the genitals like adults instead of using vague allusions.  Aaaanywho...

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how to identify your love style

One of my favoritest things to do is analyze relationships.  (Like, duh, right?  Why else would I have this job?)   But not in a super judgmental way.  Not in a way where I'm like picking apart other couples' dynamics to criticize.  Just the opposite, actually.  In the work that I do, in order to help individuals or couples through coaching, I need to be able to understand their relationship as comprehensively as possible, with limited interaction.  Because I'm not living in the relationship experience the same way members of a couple are, right?  I'm not there every day and every night, through every celebration and every conflict, through the daily mundane and the extraordinarily special moments like they are.  I need to be able to intake limited information, interpret it through a professional lens, and translate that interpretation back to my client in helpful and actionable ways. 

One of my all-time gold star, go-to, reliable and helpful AF frameworks to help me understand a relationship is Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love.  It's one of those "theories" that just ALWAYS.  MAKES.  SENSE to me.  It's so real!  Want me to prove it?  Let me explain, and then I'm 100% positive you'll be able to see how it applies to your own romantic relationships...

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