Posts tagged orgasm
manifesting pleasure in 2018

I (kind of shamefully) remember last year being the first time I realized that most New Year's Resolutions were largely absent of any sex or relationship goals.

When we think of the stereotypical New Year's Resolutions - weight loss, saving money, exercising more, maybe getting out of debt or resolving to focus more on one's health - we don't tend to immediately think of, "having more orgasms" or "prioritizing my romantic relationship" as worthwhile resolutions.

Hopefully, I'm going to change that.

And I get it, some people aren't into the whole "resolution thing" anyways... and I totes understand.  After all, research shows (btw, this admittedly isn't the gold-standard, double-blind, latitudinal, validated and generalizable type of studies I typically rely on, but it's something!) that only about 12 or so % of resolutions are kept throughout the year.  Not super promising!  Does that mean resolutions are a waste of time? 

I still don't think so.

Regardless of the "data," boiled down, resolutions create a sense of hopefulness!  They give us an idea of what in our world can change in order to increase our quality of life.  I'm down with that!  So even if you're pessimistic about resolutions, or haven't had much success keeping them in the past, I'm going to encourage you to give it another go.

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my fave sex toys for masturbation

As Masturbation Month (also known as "MAY" to the common folk) winds down, I decided that one of the most appropriate ways to close it out was to give my beloved readers some personal recommendations on how to enhance their solo sex routines, that will hopefully tide them over for the 11 more boring months of the year.  

OK, I'm being highly facetious.  Every day is a great day to masturbate!  And there's plenty of other sexy reasons to enjoy no-May months.  I'm just going to be sad when it's no longer on the forefront of our mind.  Because YAY WHACKING OFF!

For those of you who might be wondering, May was first declared as "National Masturbation Month" by sex-positive (and wildly badass) sexual pleasure retailer Good Vibrations in 1995.  The declaration was a result of then Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders being forced to resign after advocating that masturbation be taught a component of healthy sexuality.  

From a solely public health perspective (which was, you know - her job), masturbation provides multiple health benefits, without the vast majority of negative health risks associated with partnered sex (STI transmission and unintended pregnancy, just to name a couple). 

So Good Vibrations - and lots of other rational, sex-positive folks - decided that one way to reduce the shame and stigma associated with masturbation - which has demonstrated zero scientific evidence of being harmful - was to amplify the conversation around self pleasure.   

BE PROUD TO DIDDLE YOURSELF, MY FRIENDS! 

Using toys for masturbation is by no means a necessity for most able-bodied people!  Hands and fingers (and maybe even the occasional detachable shower head, particularly vibrate-y washing machine, or conveniently-shaped arm of your couch) can do really incredible things to our genitals.  And shit, some of us have even learned how to breathe our way to orgasm!

But, toys can always provide a little variety.  An option to try something new or different.  Explore NEW ways to get yourself off that you might not have tried before.  And hey!  Those new ways might blow your previous ways out of the water. 

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how better sex can improve your quality of life

This infamous and wise Marvin Gaye one said (slash crooned):

"And when I get that feeling, I want sexual healing.
Sexual healing, aw baby!  Makes me feel so fine, helps to relieve my mind.
Sexual healing baby, is good. for. me.  Sexual healing is something that's good for me."

And y'all, he was SPOT on!

There are so many documented, scientifically-researched and proven ways that having a rich, active, truly fulfilling sex life can positively impact physical, mental, emotional and social wellbeing.  Scroll through this handy dandy infographic for a peek at just SOME of the benefits of a satisfying sex life!

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pros & cons of porn

I'm gonna go ahead and say we live in a world where it is freaking impossible to avoid pornography.  When I was a wee little youngster, my curiosity made it tough to avoid (what was on those magazines covered with black plastic at 7-Eleven?  What was behind the curtain in that secret room at the video store?), but the internet was still nonexistent.  The most hardcore pornography I was exposed to before my teenage years was a few dirty mags one of my grade school friends snuck away from her dad that we peered at in complete disgust during our bus ride to school (I was SO CONFUSED about why girls were putting PENISES in their mouths like lollipops!  If you attended last week's Hump Day Q&A, you know that this traumatized me for YEARS), when my bestie and I would mute late night Cinemax and choke back giggles during sleepovers, and when I snuck snippets of "Dirty Dancing" and "Waiting to Exhale" that were hidden in my mom's dresser when I was home alone (yup, Patrick Swayze's sexual hips were apparently too hot for my young eyes).  

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