Posts tagged desire
I wanna talk about your BIGGEST sex organ...

Often when we think about sexual touch, our minds beeline straight for the genitals.

We think about hand jobs and finger-fucking, rubbing clits and juggling balls, maybe even tickling taints or sticking a sweet little lubed up finger inside of a juicy butthole.  

But, my friends, when we limit our sexual touch to just our naughty bits (duh, I say that felicitously - our genitals are NOT naughty.... unless you want them to be 😉), we are missing out on a whole 'nother range of pleasurable feels!

In fact, our BIGGEST sexual organ is actually our skin!  

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low sex drive? don't fret! you're not broken.

Out of all the sexual conundrums people talk to me about, desire (or "sex drive" or libido) is most definitely brought up the most often.

Here's the basis of what I most often hear, although clearly the details and context change for different folks:

Person A has a higher sex drive than Person B.  Person A will often initiate sexytime, but Person B will not be in the mood.  Person B has two options - either begrudgingly acquiesce to the sexytime and risk feeling resentful toward their partner in the future, or deny Person A the sex and feel guilty about not being able to meet their needs.  

It feels like there's no right answer.

For either partner.

For the person with the higher sex drive, if they are denied sexytime, they may experience feelings of frustration, inadequacy, rejection, low self-esteem, etc.  If they are, um, provided? sexytime, they might feel guilty knowing their lover wasn't super duper stoked and excited to be doing the sexy things.  

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sex dust: witchcraft for basic bitches

As the crunchy naturopath hippie that I am, just about all of the Moon Juice "Dust" collection has been strategically product placed in my sponsored Instagram feed and Facebook banner ads for several months.  To no surprise of yours, I'm sure, the Sex Dust immediately piqued my interest.  Naturally, as a sex blogger, I felt as though it was my moral duty to give a product called "Sex Dust" a whirl (also, it sounded like a fine way to write off the $40 for a measly 1.5 oz jar). 

Sex Dust claims that it will, "ignite and excite your sexual energy" as well as making, and I quote, "all the right places" a little extra sensitive.  Man, I can't wait til the day when everyone can just refer to the genitals like adults instead of using vague allusions.  Aaaanywho...

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Facebook Live Q&A RECAP

You guys!  I can't tell you how AMAZING it felt to be able to hang with you, live and in full effect, via Facebook Live this past weekend.  Me and my homefry Skipper got to answer some of your sex and relationship q's, giggle way too much, and talk a little more in depth about tips and strategies that can improve our love and sex lives. 

If you didn't get to join, and haven't caught it on SL&ATF's Facebook Page yet, it's available to watch below!  Here are the questions we were able to tackle:

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#askthesexpert: how much sex should I be having?

This is one of those questions that has both a simple answer and a complex answer.  Good news bears, I'm going to give you both!

Unfort, even the simple answer isn't so simple.  Average numbers vary tremendously depending on age, relationship and parental status, and also what is considered to be "sex."  For example, if we're including all of the partnered activities that we can do to feel erotic pleasure and potentially reach orgasm (such as oral, anal or vaginal sex; mutual masturbation; phone or cyber sex - do people even say cyber sex anymore?; dry humping; heavy petting; etc. etc. etc.), the statistics would look different than if we're talking about plain old PVI (penile-vaginal intercourse).  Even though considering only PVI is wildly heteronormative, research shows that behavior to be the one most widely understood as "having sex," so we will start there as a jumping off point.  Different studies have found different results, but research from the highly respected Kinsey Institute that used a large number of participants found that, on average, couples were having sex anywhere between a couple times per month to a couple times per week.   

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