Posts tagged #askthesexpert
#askthesexpert: how to have multiple lady orgasms

I actually am kind of obsessed with the way you wrote this out.  "while I know it's normal that not every woman can have multiple orgasms...I'd like to be able to have more than one."  ME TOO, BOO!  All the orgasms!  

But we know that each woman experiences orgasm very differently.  If you look at the Female Sexual Response Model developed by two of the most badass sex research pioneers Masters & Johnson (you may have heard about them via the TV series "Masters of Sex" on Showtime), it reflects that different women may experience the process of sexual response differently, and that any individual woman may experience this cycle differently on different occasions.

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Facebook Live Q&A RECAP

You guys!  I can't tell you how AMAZING it felt to be able to hang with you, live and in full effect, via Facebook Live this past weekend.  Me and my homefry Skipper got to answer some of your sex and relationship q's, giggle way too much, and talk a little more in depth about tips and strategies that can improve our love and sex lives. 

If you didn't get to join, and haven't caught it on SL&ATF's Facebook Page yet, it's available to watch below!  Here are the questions we were able to tackle:

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#askthesexpert: friends with benefits

It is likely that you've heard somewhere in the world - be it from entertainment media, the news, your parents, teachers, etc. - that casual dating or  "hook up culture" is more prevalent among today's young adult population than it was for past generations.  There has been a surge of research about this phenomenon, which has resulted in numerous books, journal articles, and magazine covers.  Most numbers from this research do demonstrate an increase in young adults engaging in sex with their friends, as well as more favorable attitudes toward sex outside of a romantic relationship.  (I won't go too far off the ledge right here and talk about all the contextual circumstances that may have contributed to these numbers, such as the increase in young adults going to college, which also leads to a longer period of time before people are getting married, the decreased stigma of causal sex, etc. etc. etc. - we ALWAYS have to look at CONTEXT, CONTEXT, CONTEXT before believing straight statistics!)  That being said, research has also been conducted on how having sex with friends, outside of a "romantic relationship" can impact the sex buddies.  

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#askthesexpert: how much sex should I be having?

This is one of those questions that has both a simple answer and a complex answer.  Good news bears, I'm going to give you both!

Unfort, even the simple answer isn't so simple.  Average numbers vary tremendously depending on age, relationship and parental status, and also what is considered to be "sex."  For example, if we're including all of the partnered activities that we can do to feel erotic pleasure and potentially reach orgasm (such as oral, anal or vaginal sex; mutual masturbation; phone or cyber sex - do people even say cyber sex anymore?; dry humping; heavy petting; etc. etc. etc.), the statistics would look different than if we're talking about plain old PVI (penile-vaginal intercourse).  Even though considering only PVI is wildly heteronormative, research shows that behavior to be the one most widely understood as "having sex," so we will start there as a jumping off point.  Different studies have found different results, but research from the highly respected Kinsey Institute that used a large number of participants found that, on average, couples were having sex anywhere between a couple times per month to a couple times per week.   

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#askthesexpert: all about buttplugs

Ah!  Great question!

There's a lot of "taboo" surrounding inserting something into the anus for pleasure.  And I get it - that body part is often thought of as dirty, germ-y and smelly.

But alas!  That area of the body is ALSO home to lots and lots of nerve endings that are connected to our genitals - areas that are associated with pleasure!  Quoting one of my favorite sex books, "The Guide to Getting it On" by Paul Joannides:

"You'll be hard-pressed to find a part of the body that has more nerve endings than the anus.  Some women have their strongest orgasms when anal stimulation is part of the mix.  And some men find a finger on the prostate to be a welcome sensation."
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