quick guide: the quickie
i'm not tryna give you love and affection, i'm tryna give you 60 seconds of perfection
One of the overarching goals I have as a sex blogger and educator is for my audience to really see the value and importance of fostering their sexual selves. Realistically, however, I recognize that making time for sex EVERY SINGLE DAY can get daunting. It can start to feel like a chore - and that is obviously not my hope for you.
But let's also take a minute to be honest. Sometimes, sex IS a chore. Particularly with a partner, in the context of a relationship. There will be times in our lives when we're in a loving, caring relationship with another human, where we will not WANT to have sex. There are a million reasons why we're not feeling it at any given moment. Yet, we may recognize how important sex is to our relationship, or to our lover. and the benefit to the RELATIONSHIP might outweigh our individual desires.
Which is one reason why I wanted to focus on making it quick. (The other is that I like, always wanna get my rocks off but also always have a million other things to do) How can we still reap all the benefits from having sex without having to neglect other things in our lives?
So how do we get maximum pleasure with minimal time? A few tips:
- You've heard foreplay is important, right? Especially to the ladies? (Some, not all ladies. and men too, but typically more necessary for sexual satisfaction of females) STILL TRUE! So make foreplay part of the lead up, not necessarily the sexytime. For instance, sex your boo all day so that there's a gradual build up in arousal - it may lead to a quicker, er...explosion (?) when you're together. If you're sexing solo, surround yourself with sexually stimulating stimuli (smells, tastes, visuals - things that turn you on) in anticipation of your self-pleasure.
- Use sexy aids! Increase the sexual stimulation by adding toys or porn to your playtime. Toys can provide extra stimulation (we only have five fingers and one tongue, people) that the human body just can't, and visual or aural stimulation can also increase arousal - and interest!
- I've said it before, I'm going to say it again here, and will say it over and over for the rest of my life - if you know WHAT YOU LIKE (through masturbation/exploration), you can either do those things yourself or inform your partner to utilize the reliable strategies that provide you with pleasure