my fave sex toys for masturbating

As Masturbation Month (also known as "MAY" to the common folk) winds down, I decided that one of the most appropriate ways to close it out was to give my beloved readers some personal recommendations on how to enhance their solo sex routines, that will hopefully tide them over for the 11 more boring months of the year.  

OK, I'm being highly facetious.  Every day is a great day to masturbate!  And there's plenty of other sexy reasons to enjoy no-May months.  I'm just going to be sad when it's no longer on the forefront of our mind.  Because YAY WHACKING OFF!

For those of you who might be wondering, May was first declared as "National Masturbation Month" by sex-positive (and wildly badass) sexual pleasure retailer Good Vibrations in 1995.  The declaration was a result of then Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders being forced to resign after advocating that masturbation be taught a component of healthy sexuality.  

From a solely public health perspective (which was, you know - her job), masturbation provides multiple health benefits, without the vast majority of negative health risks associated with partnered sex (STI transmission and unintended pregnancy, just to name a couple). 

So Good Vibrations - and lots of other rational, sex-positive folks - decided that one way to reduce the shame and stigma associated with masturbation - which has demonstrated zero scientific evidence of being harmful - was to amplify the conversation around self pleasure.   

BE PROUD TO DIDDLE YOURSELF, MY FRIENDS! 

Using toys for masturbation is by no means a necessity for most able-bodied people!  Hands and fingers (and maybe even the occasional detachable shower head, particularly vibrate-y washing machine, or conveniently-shaped arm of your couch) can do really incredible things to our genitals.  And shit, some of us have even learned how to breathe our way to orgasm!

But, toys can always provide a little variety.  An option to try something new or different.  Explore NEW ways to get yourself off that you might not have tried before.  And hey!  Those new ways might blow your previous ways out of the water. 

The toys in this list are not necessarily personal favorites.  As in, they aren't ALL ones that I prefer to use on my body on a regular basis (although, some of them absolutely are). 

The toys in this list are ones that I anecdotally know to be super reliable.  AKA they are good at making people cum.  I also made it a point to include toys that are high quality (lots of power and won't crap out on you) and body-safe (are made with materials that aren't known to cause infection, irritation, etc.).

Most of them are also extremely versatile, so while they may be great for sex with yourself, they can also be used in partnered context as well.  Because hey, quality toys are often an investment, I admit it.  So as a self-proclaimed broke bitch, I can appreciate needing to get your money's worth. 

Oh!  And I made all of the links and pics clickable, so you can buy them easy pleasy if they tickle (pun intended) your fancy!

Feel free to leave any questions you have about them in the comments and I'll be more than happy to respond.  

1. The Magic Wand

If you have a clitoris, please buy this product.  Like, right now.  STOP READING!  BUY THIS!

This "massager" is hands-down the Cadillac of vibrators.  This electric powered vibe offers a level of power that battery operated instruments just can't compete with.  The soft vibrating bulb boasts a surface area that most other vibrators just don't offer, allowing you to provide vibration and pressure over much more of the clitoris (and/or labia, inner thighs, etc).  I suggest turning it on and squeezing it between up tight between your thighs and squirming back and forth.  Where most vibrators would freeze during that kind of squeezing, the magic wand keeps going.  Bonus:  you can also use it to massage other areas, including shoulders and neck.  And also, you can totally lie and say that's what it's primary use is if your mom or kids find it in your bedside drawer.  

 

2. Wish by We-Vibe

Let's keep with clit stim for just another minute (especially because, you know, about 70% of those with a vulva need clit stimulation in order to reach orgasm - so it's important!).  If you're looking for powerful vibe but maybe aren't into having to plug a foot-long device into the wall in order to get off, this little guy packs a punch in a more discreet package.  

With a satin-like feel, innovative pulse patterns, all-over vibration with a tapered tip for more focused sensation, the Wish is waterproof and USB rechargeable.  It can be used directly on the clit for serious vibration sensation, or all over the labia to stimulate the internal clitoris.  It fits in the palm of your hand, so can also be rubbed over anywhere on your body that feels good - inner thighs, breasts, buttocks... the list is endless.  Also - isn't it just the cutest?

 

3. Nova by We-Vibe

You guys, We-Vibe is one of my fave sex toy brands, so they're showing up on this list more than once.  All of their products are extremely innovative, high-quality, body-safe and aesthetically pleasant.  

We're moving from the external pleasure parts into the vagina.  Many women report g-spot orgasms as being more powerful than orgasms reached through solely clitoral stimulation, and the Nova was designed with anatomical science in mind to maximize g-spot orgasm potential.  

Typically, the most successful way to reach g-spot orgasm is to stimulate both the g-spot itself and the clitoris simultaneously.  The g-spot is generally located a few inches inside the vagina toward the stomach, which means that a curved apparatus is usually necessary in order to provide stim (the larger "leg" of the Nova is what gets inserted).  

The Nova included two motors - one at the g-spot and one at the clitoris - that each have variable vibration patterns that you can also customize!  The leg that stimulates the clitoris also flexes, to account for different body shapes and sizes, and will also stay on the clitoris even if you move!  I love to really get into my masturbation sessions, so I'm always squirming and bopping around when I'm feeling myself.   

 

4. Bruno by Lelo

So let's move around from the front door to the back door, nah mean?  I feel like anal play often gets forgotten in the world of masturbation, but there's no reason why it can't be either a pleasant enhancement to masturbation focused on other parts, OR the main masturbation event! 

For women, the anal cavity is essentially right next to the vaginal cavity, so penetration into the anus can oftentimes hit many of the same nerve endings stimulated during vaginal penetration.  And for men, the prostate or "p-spot" can provide stronger orgasms.  For everyone, the anus has one of the highest concentrations of nerve endings throughout the entire body, so why not give it some love?!

The Bruno is advertised as a prostate massager for men, but I think anyone with an asshole can enjoy this toy.  Safe for anal penetration because it has a flared base (please don't put anything without a flared base in your butt, it can - and likely will - get sucked up there), and equipped with several powerful vibrations, lube that bad boy up and add it to your masturbation repertoire for a more exciting self-stimulated O. Don't forget to use lube liberally! 

 

5. Easy Beat Egg by Tenga 

This is probably my favorite masturbation sleeve (although, there are others I prefer during partnered sex).  The Tenga Eggs are disposable, and designed for one-time use... which makes clean up a BREEZE.  Although they are made with non-toxic material, they are relatively inexpensive (as they should be for one willy wank), and come in a variety of different textures for a completely new sensation just about every time.  There's no getting bored with these!  

The egg-shaped packages are tiny, and don't overtly look like a "sex toy."  The sleeves themselves are super stretchy, so can honestly fit on everyone (and no, not in the way that a condom can supposedly "fit on everyone").  

I also find them to be softer and more malleable than most masturbation sleeves, which - even though I don't anatomically have a penis - I imagine to be much more comfortable and extremely less constricting.  Rather than fit around the shaft of the penis, the egg goes on top kind of like a mushroom cap, so there's no chance of penis suffocation!

I (no shocker here) recommend using lots of lube with them for the most glide-able stroke!

 

6. All the lube by Sliquid

OK, OK, I realize that lube is not, in fact, a toy.  But if you're only able to invest in ONE NEW THING to enhance your masturbatory routine, lube is the way to go.  Not nearly as flashy as one of the toys above, but if you aren't currently using lube to masturbate, it can really elevate your experience.  I'm not kidding, it will feel SO different for you.  You'll never go back to dry masturbating again.  

Sliquid Intimate Lubricants
 

Well there you have it, folks!  Be sure to celebrate these last few days of May in the most pleasurable, orgasmic way possible!  If you have any of your own recommendations, please please PLEASE leave them in the comments below!

colby zongol
 

Comment