lemme teach you how to speak the language of LOVE

Y'all, in case you aren't aware, I consider myself to be #wifeygoals.

And this may come as a surprise, but tbh I used to (ok, maybe still do, a little bit) aspire to be a housewife.  Yes, yes, I've been a graduate student for like one million trillion years, which may sound silly for someone who ultimately wanted that MRS degree.  Because, like, contingency plans, my peoples!  

But seriously, I can't tell you the joy I get from like, grocery shopping.  Or doing dishes!  I like, LOVE chores, and would do them all day long if I had the time.  I'm that weirdo who'd love to organize kitchen pantry, whip up homemade muffins on the reg, and essentially keep my casa Pinterest-worthy at all times.

Basically, I'm domestical as fuck.

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why I celebrate ALL love [not just my boo] on Valentine's Day

Whether you like it or not, it's coming.

(haha, I said "coming" 😜)

While I have absolutely zero actual science backing me up here, I will purely anecdotally claim that Valentine's Day stirs up more polarizing feelings than any other widely celebrated holiday.

On one hand, you have folks that soak up the bullshit (did I say that?) expectations and performance desire on celebrating in the socially presumed way: flowers, candy, candles, cards, romantic dinners, champagne (BUT I LOVE CHAMPS ANYWAYS!), etc.  

On the other hand, you've got the Valentine cynics.  The folks who boycott the "Hallmark holiday" and rant about how it's just a way for capitalism to rear it's ugly head and get the peeps to spend spend spend.  After all, you shouldn't need a holiday to demonstrate your love to your love, right?

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Colby Marie ZComment
manifesting pleasure in 2018

I (kind of shamefully) remember last year being the first time I realized that most New Year's Resolutions were largely absent of any sex or relationship goals.

When we think of the stereotypical New Year's Resolutions - weight loss, saving money, exercising more, maybe getting out of debt or resolving to focus more on one's health - we don't tend to immediately think of, "having more orgasms" or "prioritizing my romantic relationship" as worthwhile resolutions.

Hopefully, I'm going to change that.

And I get it, some people aren't into the whole "resolution thing" anyways... and I totes understand.  After all, research shows (btw, this admittedly isn't the gold-standard, double-blind, latitudinal, validated and generalizable type of studies I typically rely on, but it's something!) that only about 12 or so % of resolutions are kept throughout the year.  Not super promising!  Does that mean resolutions are a waste of time? 

I still don't think so.

Regardless of the "data," boiled down, resolutions create a sense of hopefulness!  They give us an idea of what in our world can change in order to increase our quality of life.  I'm down with that!  So even if you're pessimistic about resolutions, or haven't had much success keeping them in the past, I'm going to encourage you to give it another go.

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fertility, pregnancy, conception...oh my!

I'm at the age where pregnancy is starting to feel borderline contagious... several of my favorite "inner circle" ladies are popping out adorable little nuggets of joy, baby showers are a typical weekend activity, and "Auntie Colby" has become one of my identities.  

Someone is always pregnant, LOL!

And with that, I feel like I am often surrounded by "pregnancy talk" -- gender reveals, fertility tracking apps, ovulation, due dates, and birthing plans are all hot topics of conversation in my world.  

For the most part, it's a happy time for my homies.  Joyful conversations full of hope and excitement.  

Less talked about, however -- although also incredibly present -- are friends (and friends of friends) who have or are currently struggling with what I like to call FERTILITY FRUSTRATION... difficulty conceiving, miscarriage, ovulation obsession, etc.  

 

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low sex drive? don't fret! you're not broken.

Out of all the sexual conundrums people talk to me about, desire (or "sex drive" or libido) is most definitely brought up the most often.

Here's the basis of what I most often hear, although clearly the details and context change for different folks:

Person A has a higher sex drive than Person B.  Person A will often initiate sexytime, but Person B will not be in the mood.  Person B has two options - either begrudgingly acquiesce to the sexytime and risk feeling resentful toward their partner in the future, or deny Person A the sex and feel guilty about not being able to meet their needs.  

It feels like there's no right answer.

For either partner.

For the person with the higher sex drive, if they are denied sexytime, they may experience feelings of frustration, inadequacy, rejection, low self-esteem, etc.  If they are, um, provided? sexytime, they might feel guilty knowing their lover wasn't super duper stoked and excited to be doing the sexy things.  

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